A Thousand Guitars - by Frank Snider 11/11/97    
  Some collect guns, knives and cars,
Books, coins and old fruit jars,
Some collect clocks, trains and caps,
Some even collect old road maps,
But I always wanted a thousand guitars.
           When I was a child we were very poor,
I only had one, but wanted many more,
Now that I'm older and have more money,
I told my wife, "Now listen here Honey,
I'll buy as many guitars as I can afford."
It never made much difference to me,
If I was at home or across the sea,
It made little difference how I felt,
Or in life what cards I was dealt,
As long as I had a guitar on my knee.
  Behind the couch and under the bed,
Over in the corner stacked high as my head,
Through the mall and over the net,
I ordered as many as I could get,
I even had to build a guitar shed.
Most of my friends couldn't understand,
If I was at sea or on dry land,
Whether driving my truck or driving my car,
Going across the street or traveling afar,
I just had to have a guitar in my hand.
  I collected hard; I was s diligent soldier,
But I'm slowing down now that I'm older,
So I counted them all, that I could find,
But they only totaled nine hundred ninety nine,
Then I remembered the one hanging on my shoulder.